The Renaissance Soul

From Madame Memento's Etsy Shop

I have spent a better part of my adult life looking for that one thing I am supposed to be doing.  Bought into the idea long ago that every one has a purpose. After becoming a mom I modified that belief into one that heads in the direction of : we are supposed to live on purpose making whatever we do in life matter in the moment. Still though I find myself forever distracted and thinking it's still out there, still searching and coming up with ideas of things I would like to do. Sometimes serving up so many ideas on my plate I can't do any of them, can't decide which one is the best one to give my time and attention to, so instead I do nothing.  Isn't it crazy to find yourself immobilized by having too may interests?

That is where this book by Margaret Lobenstine comes in.  In the online course someone had commented  that they didn't even know what creative business they wanted to get into because they had dabbled in so many areas of the arts. How could they pick just one to make a business out of? Another 'flyer' suggested she read Renaissance Souls.   I was intrigued.

The book is geared towards those of us who think we are flighty, non committal,  lazy, or chronically undecided.  Those of us who have beat ourselves down because we thought we were seeking one grand plan, the ideal job or career that would make us happy but routinely find failure in that search. As my kids get older and high school looms around the corner I have been feeling that pang of fear again...I must figure out what I'm going to do, I have to plan, I have to find that one thing and be able to see it through to the end.

A while back I applied and interviewed at a big call center, I bombed the online test and felt a bit defeated.  My best-est cousin Debbie made my day when she said it was OK I didn't get the job, she envisioned that me sitting in a cubicle (even part time) was kind of like putting a butterfly in a shoe box. I'm still stunned at how well she gets me and at how hard I fight to fit in a mold not meant for me.

Where is all this going? Not sure, working through the book, learning to focus or pair down my multitudes of interests and commitments so I can move forward.