Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Renaissance Soul

I have spent a better part of my adult life looking for that one thing I am supposed to be doing.  Bought into the idea long ago that every one has a purpose. After becoming a mom I modified that belief into one that heads in the direction of : we are supposed to live on purpose making whatever we do in life matter in the moment. Still though I find myself forever distracted and thinking it's still out there, still searching and coming up with ideas of things I would like to do. Sometimes serving up so many ideas on my plate I can't do any of them, can't decide which one is the best one to give my time and attention to, so instead I do nothing.  Isn't it crazy to find yourself immobilized by having too may interests?

That is where this book by Margaret Lobenstine comes in.  In the online course someone had commented  that they didn't even know what creative business they wanted to get into because they had dabbled in so many areas of the arts. How could they pick just one to make a business out of? Another 'flyer' suggested she read Renaissance Souls.   I was intrigued.

The book is geared towards those of us who think we are flighty, non committal,  lazy, or chronically undecided.  Those of us who have beat ourselves down because we thought we were seeking one grand plan, the ideal job or career that would make us happy but routinely find failure in that search. As my kids get older and high school looms around the corner I have been feeling that pang of fear again...I must figure out what I'm going to do, I have to plan, I have to find that one thing and be able to see it through to the end.

A while back I applied and interviewed at a big call center, I bombed the online test and felt a bit defeated.  My best-est cousin Debbie made my day when she said it was OK I didn't get the job, she envisioned that me sitting in a cubicle (even part time) was kind of like putting a butterfly in a shoe box. I'm still stunned at how well she gets me and at how hard I fight to fit in a mold not meant for me.

Where is all this going? Not sure, working through the book, learning to focus or pair down my multitudes of interests and commitments so I can move forward.


Tina Schiefer said...

Welcome to MY novel!!!!

Tell me about it...except I had the boys young, have spent the last 25 years raising them (and the business!) and now at 44 ready to embark on a BIG SCARY journey!!!

Is it what is meant to be? Who the heck knows, but I'm gonna have fun (and tears, I'm sure!) along the way!!! I must read this book???

Barbara Bruder said...

Angie, this definitely is a must read for me!!!LOL

Dorthe said...

Dear Angie,
I never reached any big goals, in my life- took one day after the other, -some on them doing things I "had" to and did not like-but to earn to the food....
Now with my own shop since 1994 I also have dayes not being satisfied, dayes where I wish I could just close the shop-(which I will ,in some few years) but I took the chance of doing what I love, those 18 years ago- and am happy for that!

Hopemore Studio said...

Thank you ladies! Each one of you have been an inspiration to me!

Debbie Zegarra said...

Angie, you make me smile all the time by just being yourself and understanding me as me, an individual. Part of a family but separate just the same. Thank you for that.
I don't know that you will ever get the answer to your life long 'purpose' from a big flash of light or a dream in the night. And I know that is not what you are looking for.
You are a wonderful mother and wife, and a great friend - qualities that can't be taught. And to top it off, an incredible artist on many levels. I say you should keep plugging away and your 'job' will show itself in good time . . . . just enjoy the ride!

Pam @ Frippery said...

Angie, I am where you are as well. Scrabbling in too many directions and never settling on the one that feels right. I have also been trying to find a "real" job but it seems no one wants to hire an over 50, too long out of the work force old lady. I do work a temp job every spring at Anthem and it is 40 hours of soul crushing for about 15 weeks. But it brings in steady cash for a change. If it was any longer I couldn't do it for any amount of money. Find your creative space and make it big. You are so talented. I will be checking out that book too.